• Hazel Mai

The inner critic won't argue with your soul purpose



Yesterday when I decided to share that post, I hesitated. I was afraid that people would judge me.


My inner critic threw all the negative thoughts:


“Why are you drama all the time?”


“Why do you write sad stories all the time?”.


It’s not the first time I heard these judgments.


After practicing self-love and being mindful for a while, instead of fighting back, I allow all the judgmental and negative waves of thoughts to come up.


I know that I’m in the middle of a journey of self-growth and self-transformation. And the inner critic will always be there and show up. A lot.


It used to be a scary vampire monster that ate me alive and inside out. But now, it’s not as scary as such anymore.


When I saw the inner critic come up, what did I do?


I told her: “I see you.”


And I meant it. I closed my eyes. I saw her - a girl in my appearance. Her head full of excruciating thoughts and she’s ready to fire at me.


Instead of pouring hatred, I gave her all my attention like a big sister to a little one.


“I see you.”


I sat with her, listening to her thoughts, and acknowledged everything she had to say with the purest intention from my heart.


I allowed her to be there. I didn’t ask her to leave when she wasn’t ready.


She stayed for a while, and not soon enough she calmed down.


And something special happened.


She allowed me to do what I meant to do.


And I did with her presence. All along.


Even after that I allowed her to be there. She could come back whenever she needed to.


Yesterday, when I sat with my critic, I thought to myself: “Why do I want to do this?”


The answer came clear to me.


I have decided that I do this challenge for some specific reasons:


- I want to begin the flow of my writing habit. I want to show up for myself for that. If I can show up for 30 days straight to write, I will be able to write books, have a blog… And more than anything, that will escalate my self-confidence.


- I want to share the real picture of long-time travels, especially how it is for a GIRL to be on the road. I want to share all the ups and downs, and help others to understand what it takes to go on a long trip like me, so that they can prepare better for their trip.


- I want to share and connect with young people at my age. I’m sharing my experience because I believe someone else is experiencing that too, or have the same issues. If there’s one person having that problem, a million out there also do. I write for all the peers who want to be heard.


I don’t just want to share the cool or fancy stories of traveling life. But I want to bring the truth out on the table.


And the truth is that I met good people and also bad people. I met men who wanted to be sugar daddies. And I met porn actors.


I share that because I believe, if you’re a girl and you want to spend at least 6 months as a nomad, you’ll probably be in those situations one day.


I want to keep it real. I want to put it out on the table because you deserve to know the truth.


My job is to share and keep the channel open, not to judge my work.


And even if I wrote a piece of shit, that’s fine. I know it’s gonna help somebody because it helped me.


I believe in my work and my ability so much I commit to this challenge to help me unlock my writing power and grow to the next level of me inside out.


I believe in my work so much that I welcome my inner critic and do it with her presence.


So next time if you have an inner critic trying to judge what you do and fix what you want, ask yourself:


- Why do you want to do this?

- What do you believe in that makes you commit to it?


Then tell your inner critic your answer.


The inner critic argues with unaligned standards and reasons.


It won’t argue with your soul purpose.

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